Naram 60 - 2018 There will be no Naramlive for 2018 OR 2019 - Want to help? https://www.gofundme.com/onewayoneshot - Bit of an update. Things are not going well. I really thought I had a shot. I still might but odds are looking worse daily. The Landlord sold the property compelling me to sell the business. I got 45k. since I can not get a mortgage I have exactly $45k to buy a house with. that's it. I will get $140k for my current home but because I was effectively made inherit my fathers debts I will walk away with -$12,000. That's right. $140k but I owe $152k in my fathers Debt's I found a rather small beat up needs a roof, doors, couple windows, ceiling, and bathroom (fixtures missing) home for $49k I am going to put in an offer of $42k (since I will need about $3k for closing) and simply hope its accepted and that its somewhat livable when and if I make it their. Attending Naram is unlikely. Taking pictures is a definite no. My laptop and all of my camera gear have been stolen by my own family members along with pretty much anything else of value. that is $7000 in equipment I can literally never replace. that very likely means that part of my life is over for quite a while if not forever. All my tools were stolen (again by family) 2 of my cars were stolen as well as my tow dolly (not by family). that is $3000 in value I was hoping to sell to pay for the move outwest partially. they are gone. I had some last scraps of things I considered valuable in my metro using it as a lockbox and when the new owners moved the car in the back out of view of door roads and lights it was broken into (tree branch) that same night and cleaned out completely. the same week the 2 vehicles and tow dolly were stolen. I ALMSOT pulled off this insane stunt. SO close. $2400 coming from amazon $2300 from the gofundme so far and $3000 selling the 2 cars and dolly. probably more like $2500. $7k the move I estimate will cost me $6500 plus $400 to fly my buddy home who is driving out with me. Now the amazon is gone and the vehicles are gone. I have no idea how to make up for these losses. that simple. I am out of resources income and things to sell that have not already been stolen. I AM LEAVING. I AM FREAKING LEAVING NEVER TO SEE THIS PART OF THE NATION AGAIN and the city of Egg Harbor had to stab me one last time refusing to pass inspection on new owners with any of my lawful registered tagged cars remaining. I may now lose pretty much everything else I can't fit in the bus since I no longer have a means of coming up with the money to move them. No more store means no more income of any substance. that means I have 40days to move before my money runs out and I default on the mortgage. And it just keeps getting better. my primary income source my youtube channel came from amazon and they just essentially fired me and said we are keeping your last 3 months income. $2400 approximately. gone. just like that. so far no reply to my appeal. not even 100% what I did wrong. apparently no recourse. I honestly have no idea what I am going to do. I have pretty much run out of options. I can't even attempt to predict where and how I will be 2 months from now. I can only hope my offer is accepted on the new questinable home and hope its livable and hope I can make it out their without major incident 2017 miles at 4mpg. and hope just hope its livable. with income from the channel essentially at zero now without amazon (token amounts from other sources $400 a month roughly) I will have to seek employment when I arrive. if I get my amazon account back I have a chance. if I can save my geo metro I might be able to attend Naram. maybe. some good friends have offered to let me room for no cost. but without camera gear worth using. their won't be many pictures. I highly doubt the universe is going to let me attend. I have no clue what the future holds for me. - MY mind is fried. I am stuck in such a deep depressive spiral I have no idea what do to about it (ignorance really is bliss I tell you) I know something up their is broken but still have no clue how to fix it. after 2.5years of working 3 fulltime jobs over 110 hours per week my body is breaking down from the effort. I have to somehow hope I can make it out their and repair my mind and body once all this shit is behind me. - Want to help? https://www.gofundme.com/onewayoneshot My ego and pride are dead. they have no place here anymore. I need help. if you can. thank you. if you can't no worries. grudges are dead with me too. except particular family and egg harbor city and all my fathers debt collectors. fuck every god damned one of them. I am voting for giant meteor. - I figure some explanation is deserved. I don't ask for pity or anything of the sort. this is just a factual accounting of the last 18 months and why there is no Naram Live this year. Life is life shit happens. you deal with it as best you can and move on as best you can. Christmas Eve 2016 my father passed. as sad as that is its just the beginning of my personal little hell :-) (hey if you can't laugh at it you will go crazy trust me I know) I was very much financially tied together with my father. he got sick we tried to save his business and home and I was the only one with good usable credit. this means everything regarding debt was in my name. This is important because it means when he died he debt did not die with him. it was all in my name. So while the debt is his the legal responsibility is mine. worse the equity was in his name so it was up for challenge. I instantly was put into a position of not having "remotely" the income to support the household we had and I had 2 mentally challenged siblings that were now my responsibilty. tummies to feed and house and zero income assistance from them. it was all in or watch them take all the equity from me and destroy me with all the debt. the mortgage alone on this house is $1500 a month and the cost of living here in levittown pa is astronomical. simply insane. my property taxes alone are $8000 a year. batshit insane. heasting in the winter? $700 a month. insane. Worse the business. the only thing capable of paying for the house was being challenged for taxes. I started a new business. threw out thousands and thousands of dollars in assets since it was all kryptonite now and max out my credit card to restart the business under my name with none of his assets. The government decided that the rules do not apply to the government lied to a judge and declared an asset transfer anyway. (bulk sale transfer its a complicated NJ thing) even though their was no asset transfer. the accountant screwed up the challenge when the agents lied to him about the process and no lawyer would touch the issue for less than $5000 down just to start no guarentee of winning. I did not have $5k. so they screwed me for every penny I had to make a down payment on a $16,000 tax bill I did not owe. Legal aid would not help me since it was an "estate issue" and they refuse to touch estate issues. I started working 3 full time jobs 120 hours a week and have not stopped since january 2017. if not for my youtube channel somehow insanely magically taking off I would have lost this home 10 months ago. I have no idea what i am doing to make it successful I Just pray daily it does not stop. the house is key. it is the only thing I have with enough equity to zero out debts I can never repay (working this many hours non stop will eventually take a physical toll I can not recover from I have no health insurance) I was $171,000 in debt with a house worth $300,000 if I could put $100k of work into it. so $145k is the best I could get. I could not take it as I could not carry nearly $30k in debt once I moved. I had to either get more for the house or pay off enough debt to drop below what the house was worth. if I could just zero out the debt. My brother who could have helped me fix the place up a little refused to lift a single finger to help. I was doing ok. youtube did better I had a savings. (I needed $15k down payment and $5k to move us since I want to move cross country) The tax people said they were also going to come after me for some fictional taxes some other companies owed from when I was in high school. $250,000. if that happened its all over. there is no recovering from that. I would have to work 6 full time jobs to cover that kind of debt. 120 hours a week for 3. 168 hours in a week. that math don't work. ever. I might have someone to take the business from me for what I owe in taxes. I am ok with that. I hate the place. I want to be done with it and I don't want anyone coming after me for the rest of my life. I think my outburst calling them insane sociopaths to their faces when they accused me of being some evil family villain with his secret lair trying to avoid sales and use taxes. they thought this geri lady from 15+ years ago was my mother and that we handed the business down from mother to father to son to try and evade taxes. insane. like they watched some cheezy god damned hollywood direct to dvd movie and thought YEP that is how people do it ....... no my mom took off to tennassee with my sister (long planned move) and skipped out on $530 in rent with the reasoning that my father owed her money so now I owed it to her. nice ehh. great family ehh. whatever. holding grudges does no one any good. that rent is not profit. its to pay the bills. this place is expensive and they used a lot of resources. when they left the water bill dropped from $125 to $45 and the electric bill dropped $150. Grrrr. whatever. the guy who wants to buy the place filed the c9600 and they came back with nothing owed. ?? amazing. maybe someone with half a brain after my outburst actually checked and realized I had absoltuely nothing to do with this geri person even through my father. maybe they realized I am not dr evil with my secret sales and use avoiding ray gun. morons. working my ass off I paid down $34k in debt. I could now sell the house for what I owed and zero out. then I get a new surprise. devestating. this is largely why there is no Naram this year even though a few people even offered to pay my costs to attend (extremely kind of them you know who you are) I got my sewer bill in. typical $100 bill for the quarter. I paid it and was about the toss the card in the paid bin when I happened to notice the past due box had a 5 digit number in it. WTF ?? $14,000. that must be an error. Nope. apparently my father never paid the sewer bill from 2000 to 2015. $5000 sewer bill that they inflated to $14,000 with fees interest penalties and costs and HEY when I call up to make arrangements to take care of this bill. not dispute it. arrangements to pay it. BOOM surprise. sheriff sale on your house. August 10th 2017. next week. (2 months when they informed me) I don't have $14,000 and they will not negotiate. not one penny. they won't lower the bill one single penny. even though its 300% of its original amount and an inherited bill they won't budge one single penny and absolutely no one can or will help me in any way shape or form to get this bill lowered. poof. all savings gone credit cards maxed. I just paid $8000 and almost have the $5879 I need to make the final payment. it never ends. this is such a horrible horrible place. I really hate this place. the only thing I will miss (and miss badly) from this horrendous horrible place is Wawa. financial manager for the township got mad at me saying what do you want its a 15 year bill. My first thought (of course I had to bite my tongue) Wait. 15 year bill with not single word from bristol township in 15 years until they sued him (first contact about the bill 15 years after no payments they sue him apparently) WHAT THE F*&* DID YOU DO FOR FIFTEEN YEARS !!! Not one letter not one phone call nothing. NO attempt to remedy it AT ALL in 15 years. ANY chance at all anyone with half a brain might think the guy paying $8000 a year in property taxes is not INTENTIONALLY refusing to pay a measily $400 a year sewer bill that he probably THINKS is just part of his taxes like the trash etc.. is? maybe? anyone? F*&*ING &$$HOLES. it gets better. I found out my brother has been stealing thousands and thousands of dollars from the business. I stop him from stealing the quarters by having them collected daily so he just starts openly stealing the money from the till. it gets so bad I call up to see what we make on say monday and he says nothing. zero. first monday without him. $600. and I can't work it myself nor higher anyone else. don't have the money need the other two jobs too much. NEED external cash flow. and I can't do a damned thing about it. nothing. you see my pop (unintentionally) screwed me one last time. he never updated his god damned will. the $80,000 I gave him 20 years ago to stave off forclosure and pay off the house and put it in my name? he never did. apparently at the last hour (I found documents over the past year that hinted at this) they gave him a forebearance agreement. so instead he expanded the business. not a bad decision mind you except his medical health declined a few years later and those businesses failed over time. $80k gone house still under note. fun. never had a clue. what did I know I was 20 years old had the money did not need the money so of course I gave it to him. not a bad father just some poor decisions and bad luck with health. because it was still under forebearance he could not change deed ownership. do you see it yet? do you see the problem yet? I can't do anything about my brother. I need his god damned permission to sell the house to pay off the debt. even if he gets nothing he can just say no and my life is over. his life is unchanged. you see without a clear will the house goes to all 3 of us. equally. surprisingly he did not resist signing the paperwork. maybe he did not realize what he could do (he clearly knew what it meant) or maybe he is not as evil as I thought he was. I hope the latter. I really do. once it was signed I could act. I did not accuse him of anything. I simply arranged it to have 2 people their so he would never work behind the counter. same pay and all just he would not be working behind the counter (no access to the till) he flipped out lost his shit said he quits and moved out on the spot. pretty much confirming without a doubt he was stealing. based on sales after he stopped working $300 to $400 per DAY 3 to 4 days a week. thousands a month. thousands. soooo much debt could have been paid off. and now another 6 hours are gone as I now have to drive my sister down to the store every tuesday to work. come back home after charging the car (can't afford gas that's for sure) do my youtube stuff then drive back down again. 23,000 miles on the car since september. so now I am stuck. I can sell the house for enough to pay off the debt but not having anything with which to move with. and go figure life gets worse. I have excellent credit. 705-760 super clean credit. but my DTI is horrendous. I carry far far more debt relative to my income than I should be. I can't get a mortgage. without a mortgage I don't know how I am going to get a new house. and I must sell this house within 2 months. I was dipping into that savings monthy to pay the insane cost of living and debt payments here. I estimate by october or november I will be at risk of defaulting on the mortgage. remember. forebearance agreement. that means I am and always have been in foreclosure. they simply "paused" the foreclosure. if I default they do not begin forclosure. they "RESUME" in progress foreclosure. that means I lose the house almost immediately (within 60 days) and lose the right to sell it. life over. done. no recovering. the banks say they will only give me a mortgage if I sell the house and pay off the debt first. but I can't sell the house until I have a new house to move into. I am trying to get someone to buy this house and let me stay here for 2 months (pay rent of course) to allow this process to happen. so far no one is willing to do that. close and you must get out. catch 22. horrible nasty viscious catch 22 and I have no idea what to do about it. they count all his debt (including the house not in my name) against me but DISMISS most of my income. you see my mileage and cash tips which I lawfully count as mileage "don't count" the rent I collect from 2 boarders who will be moving with me?? "don't count" the youtube income I make? over $2000 a month ?? Don't count. so I make over $50k a year (not enough to live here I am still negative every month) but they only count $17k of it. how nice of them. I can sign for a $50k car no cash down on my credit and signature alone that will depreciate to less than the note the moment I drive off the lot but I can't get a $50k mortgage. I have no idea what to do. I could not attend naram even with no cost because there is always a cost I can not afford at this time. nearly 200 hours of lost income for the days I would be gone and therefore not working. I can't afford that lost income. if I don't pay this sewer bill they will sell my house and take it from me on august 10th. no paid time off. I work 7 days a week at basically minimum wage. as of now I am trying to move to new mexico. low taxes low cost of living cheap houses low maintenance and extremely nice weather. (low humidity never super hot or super cold and most important no god damned rain.) the entire freaking eastern half of this freaking country gets so much damned rain its insane. levittown is this little "freak" island meteorologically that gets half the rain per year that it should be getting. I hate rain so much. so much. so tired of rain. I can not live anywhere close to here. either the cost of living is too high or where the cost of living is lower there is either no work. extremes of weather or massive crime rates. I mean really crazy crime rates (the nature of needing a $60k or cheaper house) and I have restrictions on where I can live since I need to be close to usable work and resources that are not too far away (I am the only one that can drive in the household. that means their must be "something" within walking/cycling distance of whever we life. so outside tucson az for example is off the table even though its otherwise perfect. in tucson? sure. but now the buy in price (house prices) are too high. can't afford it. constant catch 22 over and over again. if I had $125k I could live almost anywhere. at $60k? extremely limited options. and I might not even be able to afford that. I might end up having to not pay off some debt and buy a $20k foreclosure and hope its livable when I blindly purchase it without ever seeing it and hope it does not kill me when we move into it. life is fun ehh. so much fun. all I can do is keep working insane hours keep paying down debt and hope for some sort of break. for something to give. for the universe to cut me some god damned slack for once. one thing it has taught me. people can be truly evil. sociopathic evil. when it concerns people and debt owed I have experienced absolultely no exception to this rule. They smile to my face as they slide the knife into my back as far as they can and twist as hard as they can. in 18 months absolutely positively zero examples to the contrary. and worse when you resist they talk to you like you are scum and filth because they have to somehow make you the bad guy so they can go home and sleep at night. I hate people so much. I am voting for giant meteor at the next election. so. that's my story. why post it? well I thought an explanation was deserved. it feels good to vent a little. it helps me mentally and emotionally. you can imagine its just a little stressful and frustrating. they could probably make a god damned movie out of this story its so freaking insane. I would not believe it was true if I did not actually live it and continue to live it. plus maybe this will be a memory for my life if I fail and maybe I won't be forgotten. maybe. killroy taylor was here. something to not be forgotten completely. if anything of me survives the most likely thing to carry on archived somewhere is this site. I want people to know I tried. and right to the end whether I succeed or fail I stuck to my principles. my goal now and from the start contrary to everyone else I interact with is to survive this living hell with my skin in tact and without screwing anyone. I pay 100% of my debts. that last part is critical to my mental health. Don't screw anyone. even if they are screwing you I NEED to not have that on me when I goto sleep at night. All I can do is march forward and hope something gives. if I can somehow some way secure a new home in a cheap enough environmentally friendly enough location and pay off the debt with the sale of this house. I will have a chance. no assurance but at least a fair fighting chance at survival and something of a life. I was looking at oklahoma but those states have a serious issue. gap states. no low income health insurance. so my sister would lose her health care and I have a multi year fight that is not assured to get her on SSI (mentally handicapped) sadly my dad did not believe in welfare so he never got her into the system. new mexico and arizona have low income health care. "I" might even be able to get health care. It would be nice to know that getting sick won't cost me my home. problem is I need space. lots of it. I need 1800 or so sqft (4 of us and possibly more in the future) and room to expand (land) so I can build a shop for my channel or i need much more space 2500 or so to start if I can't build a shop. the youtube channel takes a lot of space (i have 54 3d printers and more coming) I am already making more than I make at papa johns. there is a chance if I can continue to build the channel AND move to a low cost of living location that i could survive on JUST the income from the channel. no more 7 day 120 hour work weeks. god what I would give for that. not only just one job but one I love doing. I am going to try. no assurance of success. all I can do is try and see what happens. I just hope I make the right choices. I really want to move to new mexico. badly so badly. Farmington NM is north and higher elevation. so summers are 95' day 60' nights and damned near zero humidity. 20-30% typically. dry as a dessert without the insane heat. mild winters. 9 inches of rain a year 12 inches of snow a year. typical low of 20' god I want that so badly. this also means much lower cost of living as your home and equipment won't degrade and be compromised so quickly. roofs walls floors foundations cars everything lasts longer and takes less maintenance. gas heat so cheap heating. low electric cost since you only need ac half of each day and you can use evap units instead of freon base (much lower costs of operation) everythign is just so much cheaper. no car inspections. no emissions. cheap registration. low income tax. low general taxes. low property taxes ($562 a year compread to my over $8000 a year now) just sooo sooo much cheaper. unlike most of NM almost no crime either. its off the beaten path. that sucks a little (3hr drive if I want to fly somewhere) and it means any event I want to goto will be a 15 to 25 hour drive almost all the time I am spoiled where I live everythign is close. but I think it would be worth it. All I can do is try. Missing Naram is truly depressing and sad. I am not sure how well people can understand just how depressing this is. 20 years never missed one. even before my pop passed I was working 80 hour work weeks. I worked for him for free to help the household and worked a second job to help pay down all the debt I was accruing. I hope that satisfies curiosity. I hope for a brighter future than the one I have now. if not. I hope I am not forgotten. |
